Robert Paul Reyes
January 21, 2006
Jerry Springer is a theater of the absurd, a parade of freaks, a showcase where trailer park whores, transvestites, incestuous hillbillies and second-rate strippers strut their stuff, for the entertainment of a jaded and bored populace.I watch the Springer show religiously, albeit with an ironic detachment. After hours of perusing magazines, newspapers and Web sites for ideas for my editorials, it’s my way of unwinding and relaxing.
However, even I don’t have any sympathy for Shannon Cook, 25, who was slapped with a 30-day jail sentence for leaving her three young children home alone for several hours while she and her boyfriend attended a videotaping of the “The Jerry Springer Show.”
The two girls and one boy, all under the age of 4, have been placed in foster homes by the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services.
The youngsters were found unattended after the two oldest left their apartment and began knocking on a neighbor’s door.
This is not a case where a mother reluctantly leaves her young charges home alone while she goes to work to pay the bills. This mom left her kids unattended so she could watch erotic dancers and trailer park tramps battle each other.
In the final segment of every Jerry Springer episode the studio audience judges each guest. There are no shades of gray, no nuances and no touchy-feely words. Guests are dismissed as “fat whore”, “stupid redneck” or “loser nerd.”
My verdict of Shanon Cook” “Go to jail you worthless mother.”
I hope that while in jail she is forced to watch every episode of “Masterpiece Theatre.” That would be a fitting punishment for an undiscerning and unsympathetic lout.
Comments Off
A Croatia lumberjack claims he started ‘enjoying housework and knitting’ after he was given a female kidney..Stjepan Lizacic, 56, from Osijek, is suing his local health authority because he says he’s become a laughing stock.
He says his life changed from enjoying heavy drinking sessions with pals to prefering housework after the operation.
He told local newspaper 24sata: “The kidney transplant saved my life, but they never warned me about the side effects.
“I have developed a strange passion for female jobs like ironing, sewing, washing dishes, sorting clothes in wardrobes and even knitting.”
He pointed out that before the kidney transplant he would not have been seen dead doing the housework, and expected his wife to do it all, but now found it both relaxing and fulfilling.
He said: “My wife is the only one that is pleased. I do most of the housework now, and I blame the hospital that transplanted me the kidney of a 50-year-old woman instead of a man’s kidney.”
His wife Radmila added: “If the new femine side to him is confined to housework I am very happy, I only hope he doesn’t start looking at other men.” Comments Off
By HUGH SON
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITERA Brooklyn man who says a cemetery sinkhole sucked him into his brother-in-law’s grave is suing church officials.
Gerard Glock, 39, of Flatbush, was trimming weeds choking a family plot at St. Charles Cemetery in Farmingdale, L.I., on Dec. 1, 2004, when the earth collapsed under his feet, he told the Daily News.
Seconds later, he was waist-deep in the grave of his brother-in-law, Charles Rizzo.
“I just fell right into Charles’ grave,” said Glock, who said his wife, daughter and mother-in-law watched in shock.
“It was exactly out of a horror movie. It was like being buried alive,” Glock said. “My daughter was hysterical crying, my wife was in shock.”
Glock said he was so spooked by the experience that he couldn’t work for two months and lost $2,200 in wages. He believes his feet touched Rizzo’s coffin.
“I’d have nightmares, wake up in cold sweats,” Glock said. “It was very freaky.”
A complaint filed by Glock’s lawyer Joe Russo charged the Diocese of Brooklyn - which operates the St. Charles Cemetery - with creating a “trap, hazard and danger” by inadequately filling in the grave.
“This was not an act of God,” said Russo, who is seeking an unspecified amount in damages. “The negligence is pretty clear cut.”
Diocese of Brooklyn spokesman Frank DeRosa declined comment on the suit. “We won’t respond to the suit until we see it,” DeRosa said.
With Nick DiVito
Originally published on January 12, 2006 Comments Off
How Would You Like Your Guinea Pig?
Jan 4th - 11:47amDEKALB COUNTY, Ga. — It isn’t something you normally find in a restaurant freezer.
A health inspector found what turned out to be a frozen guinea pig in a freezer at a Georgia restaurant. The chef told the inspector that the guinea pig was for his consumption. The inspector says the man should have had a receipt and the animal should have been labeled “personal food.”
The restaurant scored 87 on the inspection. In case you’re wondering, yes, there are several recipes for guinea pig. One goes so far to say that it is best served with salad and a beer.
(Copyright 2006 by Metro Source News. All Rights Reserved.) Comments Off
HEAT GUN THAT WARNS: “DO NOT USE AS HAIRDRYER” WINS TOP PRIZE IN M-LAW’S NINTH ANNUAL WACKY WARNING LABEL CONTESTA heat gun and paint remover that produces temperatures of 1,000 degrees and warns users, “Do not use this tool as a hair dryer” has been identified as the nation’s wackiest warning label in M-LAW’s annual Wacky Warning Label Contest.
The contest, now in its ninth year, is conducted by Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch, M-LAW, to reveal how lawsuits, and concern about lawsuits, have created a need for common sense warnings on products.
Grand prize winner chosen from hundreds of entries
The winning labels were selected from a list of M-LAW’s finalists by listeners of the Dick Purtan show on Detroit radio station, WOMC-FM. The label on the heat gun was found by Tom Brunelle of Holland, Michigan. He receives $500 and a copy of the national bestselling book, “The Death of Common Sense,” by Philip K. Howard.
OTHER WINNERS:
“Caution: Not to be used for navigation,” says the warning on a cocktail napkin displayed here by Radio Hall of Fame personality, Dick Purtan. The napkin has a small map of the waterways around Hilton Head, South Carolina printed on it.
For those people who aren’t “the sharpest knife in the drawer.” The $250 second place award went to Jam Sardar of Grand Rapids, Michigan for a label on a kitchen knife that warns: “Never try to catch a falling knife.”
“Hurry up, bartender! I’m late for the regatta.” The $100 third place award goes to Alice Morgan of La Junta, Colorado who found a very wacky warning on a cocktail napkin. The napkin has a map of the waterways around Hilton Head, South Carolina printed on it along with this: “Caution: Not to be used for navigation.”
And don’t eat the yellow snow, either. Kirk Dunham of Seabrook, Texas gets an honorable mention for a warning label he found on a bottle of dried bobcat urine made to keep rodents and other pests away from garden plants. It says: “Not for human consumption.”
But will it get cold in the refrigerator? Another honorable mention goes to Lyne Anton of Elk, California who found the following warning label on a baking pan: “Ovenware will get hot when used in oven.”
“Warning labels are a sign of our lawsuit-plagued times,” said Robert B. Dorigo Jones, M-LAW president. “An unpredictable legal system – in which judges allow anyone to file a lawsuit on almost any theory – has created a need for product makers to plaster wacky warnings on everything. When judges see it as their job to dismiss cases that are rooted in frivolous theories, we’ll see fewer wacky labels and more fairness in the courts.”
M-LAW is a non-partisan organization working to increase awareness of how litigation is hurting America. Dorigo Jones is writing a book entitled “Remove Child Before Folding, The 101 Stupidest, Silliest and Wackiest Warning Labels Ever” that will be published next year by Warner Books. Comments Off
Crystal Ball for 2006 sees asteroid crash (or not)
Comments Off
Weird News Briefs from 2005
Comments Off
|
|
|
|
